Welcome to the East Lashing PD ⌯⁍
We’re here to enforce peace through overwhelming presence, questionable stops, and selective service.
Based on a widespread and deliberate misunderstanding of authority, a system has been imposed that none of us truly agreed to (even if we could) and unlike a job, you can't opt out.
If morality, structure and direction are dictated by vote, then all varieties of atrocity can be made “legal” and already are.
Majority-based decisions implemented with violence and coercion nullify individual consent - it's glorified mob rule by another name.
꧁ 𓆩༺🔮⋆⋆˖⁺‧₊☽🧙♂️☾₊‧⁺˖⋆⋆💫༻𓆪 ꧂
Ø✩₊˚.⋆☾࿓👑𓂃༄📜༄.°🔪࿔☽⋆⁺₊✧↻
We’re all desensitized to it, inter-generationally, purposefully, for control, wealth-extraction and power.
The violent erosion of freedom in the modern world is perilously normalized, but ironically, more obvious than ever.
There is no unsubscribe button for police “service”, regardless of quality. That makes it slavery, simply put.
With everything else in this world, people vote with their money, bad businesses should fail with bad practices.
There’s no incentive to do right when the people footing the bill have no say.
Especially when the Enforcers and City Officials appear to wear the same Masonic rings. ◬
.˳·˖✶𓆩𓁺𓆪✶˖·˳.
● ◐ ❨ ◯ ☽ ◑ ●⌞🎭⌝● ◐ ❨ ◯☽ ◑ ●
◣ᵎ!ᵎ🚓🎖️👮♂️🦸♂◀⇄▶👥🏴☠⚔︎𓊝ᵎ!ᵎ◢
East Lashing PD's LGBTQ+ Spotlight Officer!🔦
🌈Officer Wyatt Daniel "I'm-feelin-nice-today" Keith🌈
East Lashing Fire's "Resourcefulness" Honoree!💦
🔥♞Lieutenant Alan David "Fireknight" Vanstempvoort🔥♞
Recent Incidents
- 🔵 June 15: Drone spotted filming the station, full panic mode initiated.
- 🟡 June 28: Internal affairs investigates... itself. Clears itself.
- 🔴 July 2: Citizen detained for eye contact.
- ⚪ July 3: Citizen detained for suspicious lack of eye contact.
- 🟢 July 4: Several boring reports from Karens... Subdued celebrations of freedoms that no longer exist.
- 🟣 July 28: Undercover operatives enter local workplaces for scheduled shakedowns.
- 🟠 July 30: Standard PR and damage-control protocols implemented.
- ⚫ Aug 8: High-ranking officials mingle among the peasantry, procuring luxury items.
- 🟤 Aug 13: City-wide “proactive enforcement” winds down. The kind of change you only notice when your pockets feel a little less light.
- 🔵 Aug 24: MSU Welcome Week Community engagement, now with 50,000 volts of enthusiasm!
🐕 Paisley - “Tazely” (Cheif's Pup)
“Charged leadership starts at home? Paisley wears what looks like an e-collar.”
“When ‘compliance’ means electricity-on pets and, last weekend, on people.”
- Symbolism: If that device is an e-collar, it signals a control-first mindset-pain or fear to shape behavior.
- Parallels: After an MSU welcome-week taser incident, the optics rhyme: electricity for “compliance,” whether canine or civilian.
- Culture: Leaders model norms. Tools that punish at the lowest rung can trickle down as accepted practice higher up.
It could be an e-collar, bark/GPS unit, or vibration-only device-we can’t confirm brand, settings, or use from photos alone.
Any pain-based use is widely criticized by animal-welfare groups.
Programs We’re Proud Of
- 📸 Parking-Lot Plate-Scanning Grid "While you shop, we snoop!" (Park accordingly)
- 🐖 Officer Porkchop’s Classroom Raid Read-Along
- 🚔 “Drive Poor, Get Pulled” Initiative
- 📦 Civil Asset Forfeiture Starter Kit (We take it, you prove it was yours)
- 🛰️ Predictive Policing Algorithms (Arresting you for what you might do)
- 🧠 Compliance Education Unit (Training citizens to shut up faster)
- 🏛️ Court Date Roulette (No lawyer? That’s a You problem, good luck with your PD, lol)
- 👁️ “Smile, You’re Being Watched” Program (Free surveillance with every breath)
- 💳 Poverty Penalty Ladder (Fines, fees, and failure-to-pay fees!)
Educational Tips (Some about us):
- 🤖 Freedom is conditional and granted by the state.
- 🎭 Truth is irrelevant if you can’t afford to prove it.
- 👮♂️ There is no law ❌ too trivial, that we will not ultimately murder you 🔪 to enforce!
- 💂♂️ We don’t make the rules, we just ruin lives with them.
- 💸 Poverty makes you vulnerable, and that’s exactly how we like you.
- 🧱 You can’t fight a system built on infinite money, manpower, and bureaucracy.
- ⚖️ You want justice? Cool. Hope you brought a lawyer, $10,000, and six months of your life.
- 😂 Sucks to suck, peasant.
🦅USA🗽🍩👮( -_•)▄︻テحكـ━一💥⁍⁍⁍⁍⁍ִֶָ. ..𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ🦋݁₊ ⊹ 🛸. ݁˖🐞 . ݁🧸 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐🥰
⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺✦🚩✮🚩⟡🚩☆●▼. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁☠︎💀🏴☠️💀☠︎⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺✦🚩✮🚩⟡🚩☆●▼. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁
“Injustice sensitivity” isn’t a flaw - it’s a high-gain sensor.
Psychiatry slaps it with a negative label because a population that notices unfairness and refuses to normalize it is harder to manage.
Fixing yourself is just realizing you were never broken like the world said.
